Photos...Jay's wedding

me with bride and groom


i must say it was a beautiful wedding...and i heard the morning ceremony was beautiful too but i couldn't make it due to work commitment!aaaaaaaaaahh!hate working on Saturdays...met old friends from everywhere...
me.Esther.
Desmond.me.
trying to look funny with the poser..

Job Interview...

aiyoyo....haven't update...last week was a relaxing week for me in job and also in my social life...haha=D Last tues while at work, was waiting for a sms from a friend and was getting quite anxious when she din't reply when i suddenly got a call from somewhere with 4 digits phone no....hmm...lo and below....it was from Lundbeck!well...its a Danish Pharmaceutical company and i applied for a position as Clinical Trials Assistant(CTA) few weeks back. and they asked me to come for an interview on that Fri morning...i was like so excited then told them i can't make it in the morning and they bluntly told me they can't change cos they have meetings in the afternoon and they would only be in KL that day....and so....i agreed.i was thinking...God help me arrange my time cos i dun have many days of leave left. then a bright idea came...earlier i found out i had an extra half day left(cos i had already planned how many days would still be left for me to take at the end of the year) so i took EL. first time in my history of working in that hospital...the interviewer also told me to check my email so i did.....and i couldn't find it!!!!finally found it in my spam mail *_* so i replied to her thanking her for informing me that i would receive an email....then on thurs nite, she called to say that they probably would be late and if they are late, i should see this person who will take me to the conference room.i'm like thinking...er....ok....i tot no need to tell me if u r late...cos its normal for interviewees to wait....yeah...so cool....i think its called favour of God(?) =D

Fri came and i finally wore the clothes which i bought(a few weeks ago) especially for interviews(but at that time i din't know i would have an interview)...haha...buy by faith!haha...
was there at 9.15 and the interview was scheduled at 9.30am...they were on time...
thankfully, they din't ask me to talk about myself...aiyoo...i dun like that question...cos got so much to say mar...and dunno which one they wan to hear in relation to the job...they explained a lot to me about the job scope and description and wat i will be expected to do if i get the job...then they introduced me to the International Clinical Research (ICR) team which consists of 3 Clinical research Associates(CRAs) and told me to talk to them and ask any questions i have...so i did...it was ok lar...talked like friends...was thinking if i could work with them..and basically the job of a CTA is like coordinator, secretary and admin type. currently they are doing everything from A-Z so they are looking for extra help with the filing, emailing...answering calls..and sometimes follow them to meetings....so yeah...diff from wat i'm currently doing now...but i dunno lar...i asked for a lot of money only bcos it has to be higher than my current pay...and some benefits are lost...so now its God's turn to move....to open or close this door...i'm still deciding...if they are willing to pay me that much or somewhere near there, i guess i would take the job....and i'm worried bout career advancement....cos CTA is the most basic and lowest post in the team so i wan to be able to go up the ranks....i can't forever be a CTA....so yeah lor...God knows wat i need...
by the way, a little testimony bout this job...i asked God for a workplace not too far from home, less jam, no need to pay toll(if possible), no need to wake up super early to go work and He answered all this with this job...its in Shah Alam(can reach using Kesas)starts at 9am, no toll and its highway so wat jam??and i did ask for admin kinda job in a pharmaceutical environment preferably...and i never knew of this job until recently.

Desperation..

desperation is a powerful motivator................hehe...trying to sound philosophical...haha..but i think it is lor...when we are desperate(not talking bout you lar..whoever u r...me and myself only ok..=P), i find i do stupid things....who doesn't? was one of those late nites and while i was chatting with a friend, suddenly am reminded the things i did when i was desperate...i was saying i dunno why i was desperate and i dun even know where i learnt that from...as i looked back at my life, i realized most of the stupid things i did was done by the motivation of desperate-ness..now i laughed about it but at those times, i tot wat i did wasn't stupid..that somehow my actions were justified. Why am i desperate?What was i looking for? u know the things they say when a girl gets older and unmarried, they get desperate and will settle for any guy that comes their way. A part of me wondered why they do that, another part sorta understands why..

So, i asked God....why did i do those stupid things? my answer is to find satisfaction in those quests...but honestly, i was only satisfied for a moment and when the moment disappear, i started looking again. i started thinking of wat i can do to satisfy my heart..In the end, it is the emptiness of my heart that i'm trying to fill...It is one of those holes in my heart (as preached by Ps Bruce Monk) and to me, desperation is one of those holes..if i could satisfy my desperation, i 'patched' up one of those holes...and my heart would have 1 less hole...

Now, God's answer is....that emptiness u feel in your heart, only God can fill and heal.been reading some books about women and 1 of the books wrote that as a female, we all have a question....am i lovely?am i captivating? and we look for those answers in men, makeup, fashion...nothing wrong with those but God is the ultimate answer....He's the one that satisfies our mouth with good things and our soul...He completes us....man(ie male) will fail us...and they just can't meet up to our expectations and they cannot give the validation we need as female..
one book i read, a woman said that whenever she feels alone, she knows that, it is the way God is calling her to spend time with Him...and now that she's married, there are times when she's alone and she knows...God is calling for her..something like that lar as i remembered..basically the point is, feeling alone isin't a bad thing....its God way of saying....come to Me, my daughter. In My presence, you will find love, peace and joy....ok...its in the Bible lar...have to korek the exact verse...
so.....may our desperation be for the right thing and makes us run to God....for He loves us with an everlasting love....

Mom's bday!

Today is my mom's birthday!i took her and my dad(my dad's birthday was 2 weeks ago and mine in 2 weeks time!) to an Italian dinner(more bcos i like Italian food =D) at Pizza Uno in Taipan..i was like thinking about wat kinda food to order since Friday nite!cos they are quite fussy about food and they can't take too much milky and cheesy stuff...so carbonara is out....and lasagna....finally, i chose Oven Baked Chicken(OBC) and Aglio Olio with Grilled Prawns and also mushroom soup..my verdict.....its definitely not the kinda food i would order for myself (except mushroom soup)but i wanted them to enjoy the food and not worry bout the cholesterol or stomach upset after eating...and they loved it!i'm so glad....they think the food was great!like i said...i like chessy stuff and tomatoish stuff...so it was ok to me..but i think the standard for the food dropped....cos the food presentation wasn't very good for both the dishes and the taste wasn't that great too...i just asked my mom if she had any stomach upset and she said no....phew...=) i forgot 1 thing...i forgot to buy her cake....tmr lar..haha..
see wat i mean....-_-

Missing you guys...

during lunch today, i suddenly had this feeling that hit me.....i actually MISS my cousins in Batu Pahat.....my parents just got back from there and it was the Merdeka long weekend and i wanted to go but i couldn't cos of work commitment!(see!hospital opens on Sat!!!)

so my friend was talking bout how she always advised her girl cousins about BGR and they r still teens and how sometimes they dun listen to her and how frustrating it can be...then i tot bout my cousins...some of them are still young and i hardly have anything to do with them...i only see them once a year and besides that, i never talk much to them...the only time they see me...we dun talk much....i felt i should start to build a relationship with them now so that i can be a part of their life now....b4 its too late when they r all grown up and have their own mindset and i can't do much to shape them into the person they are meant to be!!! i dun wan to be a bystander in their life...and my mom tells me that they looked up to me cos i study till university level and not all are the studying type...so its like....you are this example that they want to be....'-_-

will make an effort to give them a call soon or chat online with them or send them birthday cards...

ReWire in PD...

and so...we young working adults went to Port Dickson(PD) for a retreat on 26-28 Aug..was looking forward to it till i found out which car i was to follow...gosh...my whole being felt so depressed....cos i was thinking that i don't know these ppl very well and honestly i do find it a bit hard to talk to them...i was complaining to my pg members and they said i'm not giving them a chance for me to know them...oh well...i complained to the person in charge of the transportation and to Jess and she told me...eh ok wat...u're sitting in a MPV.big car..very comfortable..i was like...ooohh...sounds ok also lar...can sleep in there..haha..anyways, went for my lunch and after lunch i was starting to feel better and not so depressed anymore..

briefing time i found out i was to be in another car!yay!i thought...great...cool..i know these ppl...but later the whole journey was so boring i wished i was with the MPV ppl!cos my driver was very tired but had to drive and the co-driver din't feel like talking....i'm like aiyoyo...nvm...patience, patience...
for me, the whole retreat was ok...i dun mean to sound unenthusiastic but i really do feel that way...everything was predictable...there are sessions and workshops about BGR and games groups with war cry and sketches and games....1 thing i really liked was the Survival 101. i learned how to make fire using matches(duh...we had to dig for the matches cos it was hidden under the sand and have use the compass to know the direction of where the matches were hidden) and how to keep the fire burning using newspaper and some dried twigs and boil sea water to get clean water using distillation process...it was super fun for me and i'm so proud of my teammates!(Ps alex,Mich G, Adeline and Ow). We were the 5th group to complete all the tasks out of 9 groups. then we had games....

after games, we just hang out in the sea and just let the waves hit us....wah...so nice....oh!we also 'threw' some of the committee ppl into the water and make them wet!haha......later we played volleyball on the beach and then went swimming in the swimming pool..yes...with my sandy and salty clothes...
sketches were performed after dinner and we had a good laugh....and then we went mamak...so sad kan...go PD and must go mamak...took some photos...

overall, i felt the camp was a reminder to me of the things that i already knew...i felt my expectations of a retreat have changed....i din't really make friends at the retreat or chit chat a lot...yeah..i found out i can see lots of stars at night by the beach and there are blue skies in PD...wonders of nature...makes me think of my time in Aus...