More independent, less grateful...

think of it...i find the more independent i become, the less grateful i am to the people that helped me in the little things..
when i say thank yous...i always tell myself to be sincere when i say it..or even sorries...i feel it brings no justice when i say things that i dun mean it..including courtesy, tho i may not mean it fully, i will say it bcos they deserve to hear it...
anyways, talking about independence..i find the more things i can do on my own without any help, then when i get help, i kinda like...erm..thanks..but no thanks..

to be continued...so i'm continuing..so where in the world did i come up with the above title?
i was just reflecting at the time when i started working in my current job. I have absolutely no idea how it works. I only know scientific terms and some working experience but this was totally unrelated. So i was literally depending on my senior and other co-workers(and lots of mental prayers) to do my job. Then as i begin to get the hang of it, the more independent i become, i find that i became quite rude and impatient with some of my co-workers.And when things din't work out the way i wan it to be, i 'd get really mad and stressed because that would cost me having to work overtime. And basically, i felt i became less courteous and less grateful to the people that helped me in a way or another.

And i think its kinda same in the spiritual...when i was a baby Christian, i'm like..feed me with God's words...i wanna know...and i would ask questions and be dependent on God for every single thing in my life..almost...then when God answered my prayers, i'll be so happy...cos God is real...He answers prayers and blesses me..and i would see almost everything as like from God..and wah..God is so good...now...i'm like...yeah..i got a car...so?...yeah...i got a job...so? i became that little spoiled brat!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...
I guess...the way not to be ungrateful is to always acknowledge the act and thoughts that someone went out of their way to help you..no matter how small it may be...and God...without Him...without His grace...life is not gonna turn out as wonderful as it is now..haha...
a lot of thoughts in my head...and this is the best i can come out with...if only u could pick my brains...haha..

Grace...

aaaaaaa...i dunno how to handle some ppl..i have 2 very difficult person to deal with...thank God not in my work but just in general as friends..gosh...its like teaching adults the principles they should have learnt as kids..and i suck at teaching...its like telling them why they shouldn't touch the hot kettle...but why?cos it will burn your fingers?but how you know?you also picked up the kettle with your hands and nothing happen pun...OK!Fine!go touch it.dun come to me crying!!
that's how i feel lar...so big dy also dunno how to think meh...dunno how to be responsible meh?
so...patience....grace....aaaaaah....God help me ler...
i sometimes really wanna help them..but...i dunno how...and sometimes just let them be...hoping they will learn by themselves..

This is like...

This is a Dreamweaver application isin't it??i think it is lar...cos i used it before...
been sick since my last post...gosh..a week..started with gastric then proceeded to diarrhea which is like peeing thru the anus...gross...then vomited half digested food...its awful..MC after public holiday which is nice to me..haha..but i can't eat anything!!well..i can eat things like..white bread and biscuits...and drink water...eyerrrrrr....totally tasteless and i vomited those out..i'm sure you all know why..haha...so now..its Sat..am getting better..been craving for pasta and pizza..at Italiannies or Pizza Uno...i can't wait anymore!!! gosh...now i'm slowly reintroducing food to my stomach...thank God i have not vomited anything out and i'm no longer peeing thru my anus..i have soft stool ^_^ an improvement k...
still avoiding too oily and too spicy and hard to digest food..gosh..i really can't wait to eat at Pizza Uno..this is such torture..well..on a brighter note, Elaine said i lost weight..i'm like " Are you sure?" can see my face thinner..ooohhh...well..i noticed my tummy and arms r smaller..haha..but pants still as tight..-_-

Had Ladies Morning Tea today..it was heaps fun...Ps Helen Monk spoke..and in between her preaching, she gave out prophecies to a few ppl. i'm like.."God speak thru her to me...i want a word from You." i was kinda desperate for a word.and just b4 she left the church, she gave me a word and told me she wanted to tell me earlier but din't.i'm like YES!!THANK YOU JESUS! You heard my prayer..and answered it..^_^

Cars and cat...

wah...today is the C day!haha...my titles are in C...oooooo..maybe i should practice playing some song in C..haha..lame...

niweis...i dun like MPVs or big cars that look real square and big and has absolutely no taste in its design besides wanting to pack in things or ppl as much as possible.yes..they look big and demeaning and so stable cos they r so low..on the road. I wonder why are they even made!If its to carry stuff, then they should look like a van or a 4 wheel drive not like a hybrid of a van and car...eewwww....uggllllyyyy...
knowing this...i like sleek cars...fast cars..like a Lancer (the older model not the new model).ok i may not know a lot about cars but i know it catches my eyes when i see it in Aus..but in Msia its called a Putra.i think..haha...i also like Mazda 6..ooooo...they got big butts but the front is quite attractive...Nissan 350Z is stylo...there's Integra too..i dun like Skyline cos the rearlights look really funny to me. I dun like Waja cos its squarish to me and i dun like its leather seats..I like Perdan cos its rounder looking, Wira was my fav when i wanted to buy a car but..instead i got MyVi. I dun really like it cos its short and i'm just not use to short cars but its a good car and i'm beginning to love it cos parking is easy...hahahaha

My next car would be a Mazda...if i can afford it!hahaha...

oh next topic...i think i wanna get a cat. Rear a cat i mean..they seem like really fluffy creatures and manja too...hmm...showering a cat would be quite a difficult task rite?hehe..

ps. note that i dun put in the model no of the cars cos i dunno them!!haha...so..just read for fun ok!dun comment so much...hehehe

Catalyst...

If you have asked how my day was yesterday, i wonder wat to say..on a postive note..it's a great day!For the 1st time, a patient puked into the sink in my lab and i got some bits and pieces of that on my lab coat and i wonder where else...oh..then the sink blocked and the housekeeping ppl came to try to clean it up but the sink was still blocked and they called the maintenance macho guys to come and they made the sink leak and in the end it was a big mess!wow...but the sink still not fixed. tmr we'll clean it up, they said....ok...its one of the new experiences of working in a lab..cool...(ok...so much sarcasm, not so positive after all)
on the negative side...it was a not fun day...patient puked into the sink and i get splattered with some of the puke on my coat and i hope i dun smell when i meet my friend later after work!!man... of all days, why today???i'm super busy with reports unprinted cos the printer is ancient and takes almost a minute to print one stupid pageand i have to print at least 20 pages..!grrrrr....why can't they use their brains to puke into the toilet bowl!ok fine...can't wait anymore..nearest was the sink..maybe she should have puked on the floor.easier to clean up..

ooooookkkkk....so..today, the macho guys came again with their big equipment which makes loud noises to unblocked the sink!its powerful...like..using a hammer to crack open peanuts. BUt it was a tough nute..so the hammer was needed. After that, the water drains into the sink much more smoothly than b4 and if there is anything to learn from this...it'll be this.
That sometimes a catalyst is needed to propel us to greater heights. It may seem like bad stuffs are happening and troublesome, messy...but the end result is, the sink is unblocked and water can drain off easily. so, liken with our life...we have stuff in our hearts that need to be cleared of for God to work easily thru us...and in the end, its for our own good..like they say..blessing in disguise..a reminder to myself not to be afraid when sometimes bad things happen or will happen..cos..God always make a way out..but its definitely not fun being stuck in bad situations!

wah..like preaching pulak..hehe

My aunt and I..

In Cantonese, "You fat dy..." my aunt said."Really??", i answered with an innocent smile while eating my dinner. "So now got bf ke?If got, can get married dy. You so pretty, sure got no bf?Don't be too choosy lar...Surely your expectations are high." my aunt added. And i said with a cheeky smile, "No ar...no bf. Not my expectations high lar..they dun wan to choose me only." Hahaha...yeah..pretty much like that lar the conversation..never tot i could joke about NOT having a bf. sensitive stuff k...somemore at this age of...being so eligible and single@_@..anyways...

"Where is my knight in shining armour??!!"
oooookkkk....b4 anyone gets the wrong idea...just a joke.puh-lezzzz...-_- why would i wan a knight in shining armour??i wan him in suit and tie man..with his hair done nicely...and in a 'shining' car (baru cuci mar...hehe)with lots of roses at the back seat...wah..i should dream of a limousine huh...hmmmm....ooooooooooooookkkkkkk.....

hahahahahahaha...syiok sendiri....

Aus and housemate...

continuing from the previous post, last Sun i was informed by J that i should start attending SALT service for this year...i'm like...@_@ okkkk...this is exciting..its a leadership training for the uninformed.
I've been waiting for this day all my life!!!er...just joking...of course not...i have other things to look forward too..like my so-called trip to Australia which hasn't materialize for the past 3 years cos i spend-more-than-i-earn-kinda scenario...

yeah...so..last nite had a friend to sleepover...cos the next day is a public holiday so i dun have to wake up earlier to work!!woohoo...i love to stay up really late at night cos its just so quiet and peaceful and no one to bother me..i would read, watch some series, listen to music, play the guitar, chat online and eat and basically just do things without having any time limit....i'll only stop when i realize i can't hear so well or understand wat i'm reading or wat the other person is saying...haha..then i'll know..i'm too tired and time to hit the bed...zzzzz..i like the fact that i can wake up late the next day(not that i wake up THAT late..about 10ish) and take a nap in the afternoon if i'm tired

ahhh..i made an interesting observation today(at least i think so) while having lunch with my friend's friend whom she met while studying in Brissie, we were talking about my friend's future housemate's habits and lifestyle(in Brisbane)..from wat i gathered, she eats more junk food than healthy meals and she is thin though she eats a lot of it.she does not like to iron and will tumpang to iron her clothes if she sees u ironing your clothes...she makes a mess in the kitchen when she bakes, she hates lizards.
i'm like...wow...my ex-housemate was the same too!not exactly the same but my ex-housemate in Adelaide loves junks food!she has supplies of chips and choc stashed in her room and she knows the cheapest price it can get. i'm not sure if she hates lizards...but i'm like for me...how can u eat so much junk food!!!???you need the proper nutrients and have healthy meals!somehow...she managed to stay thin by eating chips and chocs..and she doesn't even fall sick as often as i do!haha...i dun think she took any supplements..
so i guess i'm trying to say that generally there are 2 kinds of housemates:one that eats junk food like a meal and those (like me sensible ones...ahem..) that don't. And i guess you need housemates like that to make your life interesting...they'll offer u really nice junk food that u never tot exist and i got hooked to the chocs and chips( i think its nutritious cos made from the finest potato!haha...) there...its just so yummy..so much better that the Super Rings we have here...ewwwwww..-_-

sigh...i miss my time in Aus and my ex-housemate..actually..i just saw her 2 weeks ago when she came to KL for a visit..still haven't got the pics i took with her recently..ah Chuuuuuu Chu...she won't read this wan...cos she's...lazy..haha..we had this connection where she'll look at me and she'll know wat i'm thinking...almost there...haha..we communicate with our eyes..haha..dunno how to explain, she just knows wan lor...and i know hers...well...almost..and i love the reaction others give..they are like bengang looking at us..."wat r u all saying?????"

u know wat...i still haven't had my 1st McDonald's for this year..doing well i guess..haha

The many Firsts of 2008..

to be continued...before i forget the title..haha..
ok...so..on the first day of New Year, i had an expensive Japanese buffet in Jogoya with 16 crazy ppl willing to fork out that amount...haha..we ate for about 3 hours and took photos for another hour..then we went to Pavilion.

on 2 Jan, i got 1 call for interview and 1 sms to tell me my resume has been forwarded to unit head of a dept.

On 3 Jan, i was told that i'll be backup singing for 2015 event on 5 Jan...and this will be my first time backup vocaling in 2008 and in the 1st worship session of the year(besides teenacity)..history making man..wow...

on 4 Jan, for the first time in my life(i think) i dozed off at 11ish after reading and initially wanted to take a short nap cos was supposed to chat with my friend online..normally would wake up at 1 or 2 am...but this is record man..i only woke up at 5 am with the lights still on and comp on...i'm like oooopppssss...

on 5 Jan, its my first Sat off this year!!!!wow!its so nice not having to work on a Saturday!and i met up with my old friend Ms E and we had a blast telling stories to each other and taking a dip at her condo's pool..wanted to get a tan but the sun was behind the clouds and it started to drizzle...shucks...

wat else...many other firsts indeed and its been a good start...i only pray i would last through the year with God's grace and strength and end the year well..amen..

i just have to put some photo otherwise very boring...haha..this was Christmas 2007 backstage posing..

The New 2008...

wow...its been another year...time really flies when u're having a great time..and for me, i had a fantastic 2007. I won't recap wat i've done in 2007 but the last few days of 2007 has been awesome to me..i've learnt 1 thing about letting go and trusting God. It was a question of why did God give me the opportunity if in the end He decided to not make it happen?
It was disappointing for me cos each time i look forward to something and in the end it didn't turn out the way i wanted it to be. I'm like...does God really love me? Does He know that its hurting me each time this happens? Can i trust Him for better things in life? Why does good things only happen to other ppl? Can i have what they have? ahhh....frustrating...so i learnt to be mediocre..not expecting so much from God cos i dunno if He'll give it to me.maybe i don't deserve it...
Then 1 day, i REALIZED...as i was looking forward to something, i suddenly realized that if that thing didn't come to pass, i will not be disappointed cos maybe it was BETTER for me that it din't come to pass. If it din't happen, its ok...God is still in control and He has the best for me and maybe this time it wasn't the best for me tho i really wanted it...so i learnt to let go and let God arrange it for me. all i have to do is to trust Him. Trust that He has better in store for me..i'll just be the right woman..for whatever situation i'm in...wah...it was like..an enlightment man...
I don't have to try to make things work...just let God lead..=) I guess..God was trying to teach me to trust Him...and man...it took a really long time for me to learn that..

ok...serious stuff aside...i almost got thrown into the pool on New Year's eve..how i escaped?ah...a miracle...or should i say..someone spoke on my behalf..haha..nolar..on every girl's behalf..i was on the verge of being swung into the pool when someone said..don't throw girls into the pool...and i was saved!haha...besides that, we had a noisy countdown followed by more ppl jumping into the pool and it was David G's birthday and he got thrown into the pool 3 times. After that we just balik...now i'm reflecting on my 2007..
New Year resolutions: I'll see if all these come to pass..haha...not all will be listed..haha..

1. Get a new job!
2. Eat more fruits..and take daily supplements.
3. Go for at least 1 holiday - to Aus to visit friends..and/or Medan.
4. Movie nite cum makan at my house with few friends...yummy..
5. Practice more guitar and sing more..
6. Have at least 1 live gig with E at Campus city or someone's birthday!haha..
7. Part time model..haha..photos shoots..hopefully get paid type!
8. Learn about Chinese herbs from mom..

Achievable??i hope so...am looking for more challenges(*scary la..)..to build my courage and self confidence.
^_^