Desperation..

desperation is a powerful motivator................hehe...trying to sound philosophical...haha..but i think it is lor...when we are desperate(not talking bout you lar..whoever u r...me and myself only ok..=P), i find i do stupid things....who doesn't? was one of those late nites and while i was chatting with a friend, suddenly am reminded the things i did when i was desperate...i was saying i dunno why i was desperate and i dun even know where i learnt that from...as i looked back at my life, i realized most of the stupid things i did was done by the motivation of desperate-ness..now i laughed about it but at those times, i tot wat i did wasn't stupid..that somehow my actions were justified. Why am i desperate?What was i looking for? u know the things they say when a girl gets older and unmarried, they get desperate and will settle for any guy that comes their way. A part of me wondered why they do that, another part sorta understands why..

So, i asked God....why did i do those stupid things? my answer is to find satisfaction in those quests...but honestly, i was only satisfied for a moment and when the moment disappear, i started looking again. i started thinking of wat i can do to satisfy my heart..In the end, it is the emptiness of my heart that i'm trying to fill...It is one of those holes in my heart (as preached by Ps Bruce Monk) and to me, desperation is one of those holes..if i could satisfy my desperation, i 'patched' up one of those holes...and my heart would have 1 less hole...

Now, God's answer is....that emptiness u feel in your heart, only God can fill and heal.been reading some books about women and 1 of the books wrote that as a female, we all have a question....am i lovely?am i captivating? and we look for those answers in men, makeup, fashion...nothing wrong with those but God is the ultimate answer....He's the one that satisfies our mouth with good things and our soul...He completes us....man(ie male) will fail us...and they just can't meet up to our expectations and they cannot give the validation we need as female..
one book i read, a woman said that whenever she feels alone, she knows that, it is the way God is calling her to spend time with Him...and now that she's married, there are times when she's alone and she knows...God is calling for her..something like that lar as i remembered..basically the point is, feeling alone isin't a bad thing....its God way of saying....come to Me, my daughter. In My presence, you will find love, peace and joy....ok...its in the Bible lar...have to korek the exact verse...
so.....may our desperation be for the right thing and makes us run to God....for He loves us with an everlasting love....