I'm glad=)

I'm glad i have food to eat, car to drive, friends to hang out with, friends to laugh and cry with, computer that can go online, bed to sleep, money to spend, church to attend, job that pays ok, parents that cares, tv to watch!

i should thank God for all the blessings and blessings in disguise He has given me.

i'm very full now because i had dinner at Wai Sek kai in SS2. then went to the mamak area for fried oysters and squid(must go to uncle stall). So i'm in a thankful mood=)

i do realize that i tend to blog when i'm down...its sort of my release 'place'.but now i want to also blog of the happy times i have in my life....er...we'll just end here for now..am goin to climb Gunung Nuang so more stories and pictures. oh...another thing i was grateful for was my colleague kindly switched her annual leave for me so that i can attend Bernard's wedding!God bless her abundantly and exceedingly in her life. she's very studious. She's sowing her 'seeds' now and one day she will reap the 'fruit'.in her work i mean=)

where am i sowing mine?in friends mainly...i dunno wat kinda fruit i will get..hahaha..lazy to write dy....good nite...

Now i know what people do when they stay at home too long...not doing anything except sleep or be bored....

i did just that on Sat and i took 3 hours nap after i got back from work....i dreamed of some friends and people..weird dreams....then at night i went out for dinner with parents and went online and then did some reading and lots of thinking before i went to bed....and i tell you...it was unproductive!all my thoughts were really nonsense....like...the past...the present...the future...my work...my social life....my blog...its just not worth mentioning...cos its like moving backwards...

so i should be grateful that i have friends that i can hang out with and talk to...
man....life is a bit meaningless and purposeless for now....its just getting by.....

Chuckle...a little..

yeah...i was chuckling..i was reading my blog and i found it to be rather interesting to read...then i read my friendster's 'info about me' and i can't believe i actually cracked a joke there...i din't know i was that funny...but it was funny...i'm still chuckling now...hahahahahahaha....i mean ppl tell me i'm funny but i just don't realize it..

so...remember yesterday's patient which i forgot about??well...he came today and he's perfectly fine!at least in my part...no abnormalities found in him..i mean his brain waves...phew..huge relieve.

so yesterday i said i made a mistake...actually it wasn't a mistake...it was a BAD decision...then i started to think that being a leader isin't easy.......imagine if your leader makes a bad decision.....will u still support him/her?being a follower myself....i've seen or watched in movies or heard or read in the newspaper of leaders who make bad decision, i feel its so unfair to their followers...they have to bear the consequences if they choose to still follow the leader or maybe its their own honour and integrity at stake..imagine in a war, instead of advancing forward, u back out.....its a topic with too many areas to cover...so...i had my taste of being a leader today...

so, since my senior no longer works in the afternoons, i am the next in line.so i take care of the lab and arrange for patients to come for their tests.so...today i sorta 'reminded' my colleague that she needed to do her work tho she has some assignments to do...cos she was planning to go home early.well...its nothing wrong to go back early cos she's taking her lunch time but last min got 1 patient which i had to turn down bcos i can't do it cos i got other patients and i din't wan to go home late(yeah...irresponsible)and no one else can do it besides 2 of us. so i felt kinda bad for turning that patient down and it also means that tomorrow(being a Saturday!) will be very busy cos the patients we turn down today will come back tmr and tmr has got its own work load too!!!so, i told her nicely and i think she din't take it nicely. I told her i did think bout her assignment and that's why i turned that patient down and hope that next time she won't do it again...its just hard...trying to please both sides...she was free from 3ish and she hasn't taken her lunch break so i tot she should take it so that when she comes back from her break, it will be 4 ish and still got time to do 1 last patient before she leaves at 5.30 and i can clear up after her. u know..i was thinking of her needs and i dun feel appreciated cos of her reaction.well...work is from 9-6pm, so watever u have u just got to do it later or just take the day off.easier said than done cos sometimes i'm guilty of that too...but who is perfect....

so being a leader isn't easy....firstly, u yourself have to set the example for ppl to follow which i constantly slack...and secondly, telling ppl they r wrong and showing them the right direction won't make u feel appreciated.its more like 'stop telling me wat to do!'

Still..

ok.....i'm still in the 'down' mode...hopefully it will be over soon...i wan to be happy and smiley and cheerful and chirpy and having a great time in my life...

hey andrew...thanks for the comment..very happy that u dropped a comment..i think i'm doing great outside but maybe not so great inside...=)

so...lets see...past 2 weeks i've been scolding ppl...for your info, i dun feel nice scolding ppl cos i try to have grace with ppl who makes mistakes cos i'm not always rite also mar..
so at work, i scolded one clerk, annoyed with another clerk, irritated with a colleague and i-can't-believe-it how some colleagues can be so selfish that they leave THEIR work to other ppl while they have tea.or read their books.OR even worse, go home on time when there are still patients around waiting for tests to be done on them!so sometimes i have to stay back lor...but not all the time...too much complain....nothing much can be done...their ways are dead set. just have to live with it.....in other words, IRRESPONSIBLE.

so u see, i may be irresponsible on certain days too cos maybe i'm tired cos had a long practice the nite b4 or watched midnite movies or i had a sore throat or i had a heart issue...u know..the lists goes on....so i try to overlook the times when ppl slack cos i do too. so, maybe all this is eating me up...maybe i din't overlook it and its coming out of me now....by SCOLDING ppl...or get really annoyed with patients who cannot read time(90% of the patients come late when given an appointment. About 70% of those come 10-30 mins late, 20% on time*applaud*, 5 % more than 1 HOUR LATE and 5% dun turn up.

then...today, i made a MISTAKE ( not that i never made one but can cover up or not so serious type) i totally overlooked a patient that was waiting for his turn to do his test and i gave that time to another patient!AND guess wat...i refused to stay back to do the job...oh..that's not irresponsible cos we have the right to go back on time and fortunately, this patient wasn't an urgent case...at least i dun think so!!!so...tmr....dunno how...pray hard now that he's not a serious case cos late treatment may not be so good on the patient....seeeeeee.....wat a heavy burden i carry each day...

Wow...i haven't been blogging for 8 days..was i that busy?lets see...

Last Sun was Easter Day as most of us call it but its actually Resurrection Sunday when Jesus rose again after He was crucified and died on wat we now call Good Friday. Why was that day important to us Christians?Because all our sins has been 'paid' off by His holy blood. All sins...not just big sins.

I woke up with a dizziness last sun and i was rather upset that i couldn't go to church on a Resurrection Sunday!anyway, i told my leaders i can't come for choir and i went back to sleep for another hour. I woke up after 1 hour and 90% of my dizziness was gone!Thank God!i really din't wan to miss church on this particular Sun! I contemplated on goin to church and wondered if i culd make it for choir...i tot i took a long time to decide wat to wear and put on make up but in the end i reached church at 10.20am.Amazing...since i only woke up at 9.40am and left the house at 10.10am...i tot i was late but i'm not!!time was passing slowly at that moment..so..i got to sing in the choir and wore a black tie over a white shirt(which was one of the main reason why i wan to be there!haha!honestly lar)...so cool....=)

After that, this whole week was terrible...had to stay back at work and lotsa work...so sien..have to work on Sats...i think i'm doing more work than the fair amount...i know..someone's gonna say..who said life was fair...yaya...
maybe its the underlying problem that made me feel like this...i've been thinking a lot too...i saw a casual friend recently got married!somemore from same church..and din't even hear a bit of wedding bells ringing...actually was envious of her cos wat she's having now is or was wat i wanted too....so..yeah...wat can i do rite....just leave it to God...He always give good gifts and the best for His children. just gotta trust Him..

i'm putting on weight now!gotta lose it...2 more weddings coming and gotta look fabulous in it ;)hehehe....

Happy Wedding!

group photo...the only one with Ethan and Nicole.

Last sat was my nephew's wedding..yup..he's older than me by 5 or 6 years. Finally Ethan and Nicole was married on 31 March after 13 years of dating-ship at Victoria Ballroom in Holiday Villa.
The ballroom was built next to a lake or on the side of the lake...anyway...can see water next to the window...yeah...cool...

i think they r an awesome couple. my nephew is rather leng chai and he's so faithful and loyal to Nicole...and she is a very cheery lady...very friendly and motherly and loving and of course pretty too...both of them travel a lot and u wouldn't believe it if i told u that they spend more time apart than together...amazing...their love withstand time and distance...

My cousins and i...i'm the youngest in that generation.
my mom and i

my niece and i..

Well...

i'm not feeling well today...having a sore throat that's been making my face hot and cheeks pink..can be a good thing...makes me prettier=)

i wish someone would care when i fall sick...i wish someone would know when i fall sick..(besides my parents) i wish someone would just pamper me when i fall sick.
instead of being a spoil sport for choosing not to go out with friends or watch movie or go mamak, i wish they would know that i REALLY WANT to go out with them but i can't cos i'm not well. and the fact that i sometimes i would put them first and still go out tho not feeling well...i dunno..stupid?

but do u understand my heart? do u know how much i wan to be accepted in the group and crowd? do u know.......my heart?

my mom always say...if u dun take care of yourself, no one will. i always beg to differ...but it seems like wat she's saying is right. for now, my parents care for me....but when they are gone, who will.....

ppl dun ask how u r....they expect u to tell them...but dun u know that, that's the reason y we dunno much about others....cos we never care enough to ask or know....or maybe no one cared enough to ask me....

Is Jesus enough for me?Is He all that i need? i want to believe so...He has to be! Who would die for me?only Jesus did...